What is your truth?
A dear friend and colleague, Melanie DewBerry, recently invited us (her tribe) to share our truth in her newsletter. I gasped, yearned, and wanted to throw up and get it “right” at the same time.
I wanted to respond to this invitation with my pure truth, and I was really feeling that it is not easy to see or articulate that. My truth feels way more like a shifting kaleidoscope than a clear picture.
How do you feel about your truth?
As I often do when unsettled, I turn to pundits and books to make sense of my thinking and feeling. I’m currently reading Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book on healing trauma, “The Body Keeps the Score.” In it, I’ve found so much helpful information about not only my inner world but also the outer world.
The book states that, “human beings are experts in wishful thinking and obscuring the truth.” Somehow, it’s comforting for me to know that the truth is not easy for us to access. The book went on to say that, “we are a hopeful species, and we remember insults and injuries best.” So, it seems that we’re all stewing around a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings…how do we settle into essence?
The struggle to get to our truth is real, and the book affirms, “most of us are better at describing someone else than we are at describing ourselves.”
My truth
So, here it goes in the spirit of a kaleidoscope and French psychiatrist’s Pierre Janet’s declaration, “every life is a piece of art, put together with all means available.”
I am the one who people bare their souls to. A safe harbor/beacon, and a warm embrace.
I stand for love, truth (as slippery as it is), freedom, possibilities, connection, and magic.
I can light up others.
My heart is my greatest asset; my feelings are my superpower, and my mind is still figuring that out.
I feel and know deeply, and my sources are varied.
I can feel others’ pain and sense what they need. I am a healer.
In a past life I was a warrior. I no longer use physical combat; I use energetic force to right the wrongs of the world.
I am an archaeologist (I dig), an alchemist (I shape), an artist (I create), and a visionary (I see).
When untended, I am chaos and madness.
It’s sometimes hard to keep up with the constellations I see.
My head in the clouds, I work hard to keep my feet on the ground.
Storms brew inside me, and many weather states pass through me.
Those forces I channel for good.
I am restless, but not aimless.
I am a water arrow with drops to heal.
So, how do we find our truth?
Yogi Berra wisely said, “you observe a lot by watching.” That watching applies to ourselves. My life changed dramatically some seven years ago (my magic number), and I’ve kept a more close and mindful eye on myself. I’ve observed, learned, and questioned. I’ve made knowing my truth my neverending quest. It’s like a sharpening sword. That sword gets dulled over time, and I have to put time and attention back into its shape time and time again.
Some practices that I have found helpful:
· Journaling to access my inner feelings
· Listening to music to unlock hidden feelings
· Finding a trusted, safe, and nonjudgmental listener
· Tracking patterns (moods, practices, behaviors) through apps, journals, spreadsheets…whatever works
· Responding to writing prompts such as, “what makes me who I am? or what is true in my heart?”
What practices do you prefer, and what might you try?
What matters about truth?
I know when I hit some deep truth. Tears flow, my gut feels like it’s been punched, or my breath gets taken away.
If you don’t know where you really stand, it’s hard to know where you’re going or where you really want to end up. Twentieth century body therapist, Moshe Feldenkrais, identified that, “you can’t do what you want till you know what you are doing.”
So, peel back your layers. Truth scape. Unlock your mysteries. Be in the miracle of self-discovery.
Through this, you will find the way to the dreams that truly matter to you.
